1. Confederate Flag- stop calling northern people Yankees. The war is over! You may say you’re a rebel but everyone just thinks you’re racist.
2. Country Music- every song is about having sex with your girl, your dog running away, and your truck dieing. Or maybe it’s that your dog died, your girl ran away, and your having sex with your truck, either way the music blows.
3. Y’all- an insult to the English language. A slur of, ” you all”, Y’all is so simple to assure no amount of alcohol can impair your speech any further that it already is.
4. Carhartt- the tuxedo of the south, still it is only a slight step up from an all denim get-up. Almost like a member’s only jacket for rednecks.
5. Pickup Trucks- turbo fuel injection, dual exhaust, hemi engine, 4 rear tires and over sized mud flaps. Guns and ladders hang out of the back; you can smell the moonshine and road kill even when you drive in front of them. Clearly, the towing ability of your truck is the only test of manhood in some rural regions.
6. Moonshine- often distilled from potato plants grown in huge stacked tire pillars, moonshine is cheap, taste awful, and apparently makes you drunk enough to have sex with your cousin.
7. Overalls At Inappropriate Places- no one wants to see your grimy ass overalls while out to dinner. As if the horse shit on your pants wasn’t enough, you never bothered to wash out the piss stain from getting drunk last night.
8. Gun & Liquor Store- found in only the most remote southern rural areas, these “stores” are usually run out of a trailer home or the back of a pickup trucks. Only in the south can you get a 1/5 of whiskey and some rounds for your shotgun at the same place. Its a one stop shop for all your favorite activities.
9. Porch’n- whether in the city or in the country, everyone in the south loves sitting on the porch. The only difference is what kind of gun they’re clean.
10. Walmart- Southernshave accepted Wal-Mart as their cultural icon. Quaint town centers have been replaced by super centers. And instead of the coalmines, everyone is the town now works for minimum wage, pushcarts around the parking lot with they’re baby in the front.